


I just hope I'm there to see it

by islndgurl777



Series: Star Wars OT Soulmarks [7]
Category: Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, F/M, Han Solo's terrible timing, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 05:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10892340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islndgurl777/pseuds/islndgurl777
Summary: Her voice loops in his mind, the same words over and over again. He has to stifle a laugh; it hurts too much to move even the smallest amount at this point.or: Han and Leia in Cloud City.





	I just hope I'm there to see it

**Author's Note:**

> The scene is from Han's perspective after the torture up until he's frozen in carbonite. It's not graphic, but he does think about how much the torture hurt, which is why it's rated T.
> 
> Some dialogue borrowed from ESB. Beta'd by my bestie Kaitlyn.

_ Some day, you’re gonna be wrong. I just hope I’m there to see it _ . Her voice loops in his mind, the same words over and over again. He has to stifle a laugh; it hurts too much to move even the smallest amount at this point.

Stormtroopers pull him out of the chair, taking no care to avoid the myriad burns and cuts that mar his body. He stumbles along after them, limbs shaking, muscles twitching from what they’ve done to him. At some point, his legs give out and he has to be carried back to the cell he shares with Chewie and Leia.

His heart twists as he thinks of her, hoping she’s not going through what he just went through, but a sinking feeling settles in his gut, knowing Vader has no qualms about torturing women, especially this one.

The stormtroopers dump him on the floor of the cell and he tries not to panic when he realizes Leia’s not there. He’d closed their bond tightly when they’d started on the more inventive torture, to keep her from his pain, but he starts to open it now, needing to know she’s alive. He doesn’t need to worry, as she’s thrown into the cell moments later, and he knows she’s better off than he is since she can walk on her own.

She comes over to comfort him, stroking his hair as she reopens her side of the bond to him. He feels her anxiety over his condition, so he mumbles a sarcastic, “They never even asked me any questions,” to keep her from worrying too much. There’s a flare of incredulous humor from her, and it’s enough to bolster him to sit up when Lando comes in a moment later.

He clings to that feeling with both hands until Lando says, “He doesn’t want you at all, he’s after somebody called Skywalker.”

He’s filled with dread, a feeling which is reflected and amplified on Leia’s side of the bond. “Luke,” he says lowly.

“Lord Vader set a trap for him,” Lando explains.

Leia’s panicking, her tone venomous when she snaps, “And we’re the bait!”

“Yeah, well, he’s on his way,” Lando says, and that’s it for Han. He gathers what strength he has and attacks the man responsible for turning both of his soulmates over to Vader.

As Leia helps him up from where he lies prone on the floor, having exhausted himself to collapse after one good hit, she says, “You certainly have a way with people.”

He can’t argue that, so he lays back down and she keeps stroking his hair. His heart still races, from the pain, from the fear, and he can’t help but replay every conversation he’s had with her these last few weeks on their way to Cloud City. Hours, lying next to each other in his bed, sitting next to each other at the table in the galley, in the cockpit, talking about nothing and everything: her childhood, smuggling, Alderaan, his childhood, the Rebellion, Jabba, her parents, Chewie, on and on and on down to her favorite dessert.

In all the time they  _ finally _ spent getting to know each other, not once did they bring up the Marks. Guilt overwhelms him, because he knows she was never going to push him on it; it was always going to have to be him who brought them up, and he never did.

Now he might not have a chance and that kills him because she deserves better.

And isn’t that a shot in the gut? Han Solo, captain of the fastest ship in the galaxy, the best smuggler in the Outer Rim, and all around scoundrel, scared of his feelings for this pocket-sized princess who spends most of her time yelling at him.

And actually, he reflects, heart rate decreasing a bit, it’s not nearly as cataclysmic as he thought it would be, because the feelings had been there a while, he just hadn’t acknowledged them yet. Now that he has, he feels a sense of satisfied understanding regarding the universe’s decision to Mark him with this woman’s words. Because  _ of course _ she is his soulmate.  _ Of course _ he loves her.  _ Of course _ he wants to spend the rest of his life by her side. He never wants to be apart from her again.

“Han?” she whispers, sending a questioning feeling along their bond.

He realizes then he still hasn’t reopened his side of the bond to her, but keeps a tight grip on it now. She doesn’t need to be distracted by his wildly ill-timed revelations. Call him a scoundrel all you’d like, but he’s not confessing his love to her for the first time in a dungeon just after he’s been tortured by a psychopath for fun.

Her eyes tighten a bit, her breathing speeds up, and he feels her hurt. He takes her hand and kisses it in apology. “I don’t want you feeling what I’m feeling right now, Princess. Trust me, it ain’t pretty. Better to keep your mind clear so you can think of a way to escape.”

“You really think we’re getting out of this one?” she asks, tone wry, but he can feel her fear simmering just underneath the surface.

He sighs. “Well, on a scale of one to the Death Star, this is certainly up there, I’ll give you that,” he says, squeezing her hand. “But I wouldn’t ever bet against you, Leia, no matter the odds.”

Affection bursts forth from her--he’s hesitant to call it anything else, if only because he’s never felt anything like it before. He basks in the feeling for a moment before he pulls her down to lay next to him. “Now, we’ve been here at least eight hours. What’ve you come up with so far?” he asks.

She tucks her face into his neck, hesitant to drape herself over him because of his injuries, though she does carefully place her hand on his hip, just over her Mark. “I kept my eyes open, but I didn’t see any trash chutes, so that’s out.”

He huffs a laugh, which quickly turns into a grimace of pain when his whole body seizes at the unexpected movement. “Geez, Princess. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to kill me.”

A pain he can’t quite name floods her side of their bond before she ruthlessly shuts it down. Before he can say anything, she lets out a shaky breath and continues detailing her observations so far. Along with Chewie, they talk in whispers, coming up with scenarios each as unlikely as the next.

Hours later, Fett and the stormtroopers return, leading them all throughout the city until they get to a dark room, eerie orange lights the only illumination in the steel space.

Han sidles up to Lando and spits out, “What’s going on, Buddy?”

Lando answers softly, “You’re being put into carbon freeze.” And damn the double-crossing conman for actually sounding sorry about it.

Han knows Leia heard because he can feel her fear ratchet up a notch. None of the scenarios they came up with featured Han unable to actually fight back. They turn to look at each other, and he opens up his side of their bond so they can communicate--argue--about their options, but he knows there’s nothing they can do right now.

Vader orders the stormtroopers to put him in the machine, and that’s when Chewie starts attacking. He sees Fett raise his blaster to shoot Chewie, but he knows if he’s being put into carbon freeze, Chewbacca is Leia’s best chance to get free of Vader, and he has to be alive to help her. He steps in and says as much, calming the wookiee down.

“The princess, you have to take care of her.”

_ No,  _ you’re _ the one who’s supposed to take care of her. _

In an ideal world, sure. But this is not an ideal world, he and Leia both know it. So despite how much they both hate it, they come to a decision. She moves closer to Chewie, letting him know he needs to let them handle the situation. He stares down the wookiee and states, “Do you hear me, huh?”

Chewie’s voice is low, defeated as he acknowledges their decision.

He looks at Leia one more time, feelings flying back and forth between them too quickly to keep track of.  _ Fear-hopeless-loss-hurt-scared-helpless-desperate-terrified _ .

And then they’re leaning toward each other, one last kiss for who knows how long, and all he feels from her is  _ terrified-love-desperate-love-helpless-love-love- _ love, and he’s pulled away from her, pushed toward the machine, but they’re still looking at each other, can’t look away, and, “I love you.” The words are wrenched from her very soul, but they are two parts of that soul, so he answers her with, “I know.”  _ I know you love me, just as you know I love you. _

He feels her  _ shock-surprise-outrage _ as he descends into the machine, looking at her for as long as he can, blocking out Chewie’s howls, trying to stay calm as the smoke surrounds him, enters his lungs and attempts to strangle him from the inside out. He loses sight of her as the machine gets louder, and he knows this is it, this is the moment he could lose everything he never knew he wanted.

But.

He’s willing to bet his life that the woman on the platform above will do everything it takes to get him back again.

So at the very last second, before the carbonite closes around him, he opens their bond up as wide as he can, hopes it’s enough to link them across a galaxy. One hand comes up to fruitlessly ward off the carbonite, and the other goes down to protect his Marks.

He takes one last breath as the darkness surrounds him, and he thinks no more.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, kudosing, bookmarking, and subscribing!!
> 
> The last fic for ESB is done, I just need Kaitlyn to beta, and then I can post it. I've started on the next interlude, but it's not done yet, so we are coming to the end of the fics that are ready to post. Luckily, summer break is coming up! My goal is to finish all the OT fics by the time I return to school in July... We'll see how that goes?


End file.
